My Style

Last week I took a Leadership Training Workshop at work. The purpose was to teach us how to become better team leaders in the workplace. The interesting thing that I wasn't expecting was that the lessons I learned really apply to my life outside of the office also, and gave me great insight into myself. Sounds trite, I know.

The foundation of the training was that D.I.S.C. personality inventory, developed by William Moulton Marston. Basically the premise is that each of us have a very distinct and predictable pattern of observable behavior sounding in one of these dimensions (for the most part each of us have some of each these dimensions in our personality, but we generally have a tendency to exhibit one of them more than the rest):

"D"ominance: To the point, decisive and bottom line oriented. These people tend to be independent and results driven. They are strong-willed people who enjoy challenges, taking action, and immediate results.

"I"nfluence: Optimistic and outgoing. They tend to be highly social and out going. They prefer participating on teams, sharing thoughts, and entertaining and energizing others.

"S"teadiness: Empathetic & Cooperative. These people tend to be team players and are supportive and helpful to others. They prefer being behind the scene, working in consistent and predictable ways. They are often good listeners and avoid change and conflict

"C"onscientiousness: Concerned, Cautious & Correct. These people are often focused on details and quality. They plan ahead, constantly check for accuracy, and what to know "how" and "why".

We took a personality assessment prior to the training and answered questions that resulted in each of us receiving a comprehensive, 17-page profile about how we respond to different situations in the workplace. No surprise here; I scored highest in the "I" or "Influence" dimension. And I have to say, that the assessment was dead on. There was even a page on "Things NOT to do while communicating with Fergie." Things such as:

• Don't leave decisions hanging in the air
• Don't talk in a loud voice or use confrontation
• Don't be dictatorial

The "Do's" were equally right on target:

• Do provide a warm and friendly environment
• Do be sincere and use a tone of voice that shows sincerity
• Do support your communications with correct facts and data

What's funny is that it became crystal clear to me why I react the way I do in certain situations, based on that assessment. It's been extremely useful - just within the past week - in helping me to cope with interactions with those with a very different communication style from mine.

I'm an "I." And I like it.

Nervous Reaction

It has come to my attention (i.e. I have recently been ridiculed by Hubby) that I laugh after each sentence when I am talking to certain people. I never really noticed it before, but now that he's pointed it out, I totally notice it and it drives me crazy! I really can't even help it. As far as I can tell, I do it when I am asking someone to do something (i.e. to the nanny: "Can you bring in the girls' stuffed animals from outside?") or when I am talking about an uncomfortable subject (i.e. "Well, where do you think the miscommunication between us was?") or if I am talking to someone that makes me nervous (i.e. "I would be delighted to come in for an interview!"). In any event, my radar is up and I'm gonna try to curb it. have I been unknowingly annoying people all these years?

hee hee?

Fight or Flight?

I'm curious - what's your fighting style? Not like fist-fighting but arguing-fighting, like with your mate. Everyone has their own style, whether they realize it or not. Maybe you are confrontational or The Instigator (shame on you). Or you could be passive agressive (plotting your silent revenge) or even a lip-biter who prefers to keep the peace. I've always been one to pick my battles - even more so now that I've been married for some years. So for the most part I don't stir the pot unless there's a good reason. But when I have strong feelings about something - I will let you know and I won't let it go. I've been wondering what the most effective arguing style is. I'm guessing the one that diffuses the situation the fastest and fosters communication. But then that's not really any fun now, is it?

In My Next Life

In my next life I will...

• study abroad during a semester in college
• intern at a major magazine in Manhattan during my summers in college
• not be so stressed the week of my wedding
• plan ahead so that I can stay home with my babies for at least the first year of their little lives
  
• get LASIK when I have the chance
• wait before buying a house that will require me to work full-time for the rest of my days
• not be a scaredy cat

My Aching Feet Are 56 Though

At her birthday lunch yesterday, my 41-year-old co-worker said that she's actually 27 in her head. I never really thought about it before, but honestly? In my head, I'm about 24. Ask my 3x preggars body though and it's an entirely different story. But really, I still identify with gals in their early twenties, and it doesn't seem like it was all that long ago.

How old are you in your head?

For Sale

The other day Hubby told me that all I needed to do to lost the weight that I want to lose is to get rid of my Excuse Machine. Of course my first reaction was to deny that I was just making excuses about why I hadn't exercised, but I've been thinking about it, and maybe he's right. I always say that I don't have time to work out. Which, on the surface feels true, but then again as my mom says I "have the same amount of time in the day that everyone else has." So maybe I just need to manage my time better. Or at least prioritize. The truth is, I would rather blog or watch Bravo or read Bon Appetit than wear out my knees on an elliptical trainer or bounce around staring at fit, perky women on an aerobics program. But again, isn't that just another excuse? Just like me being tired, or having a headache, or it being too late? So maybe it's time I sold my Excuse Machine. Anybody in the market? It works really well and even comes with a lifetime guarantee. It will just be up to you to get rid of it.